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 Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:16 am 
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And here's the comment thread for the fic. :D

I'll try posting a new part once a week, work, family, and social life permitting. I have 2.5 parts already in a buffer, which I go back and revise if stuff in the newer parts requires a bit of retconjuring, so this'll be updated hopefully regularly for at least a few weeks.

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     Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:02 pm 
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    I'm afraid I'm not getting the references present in Amicus Brief. Any chance someone could enlighten me?

    On another note, I'm loving Lucy Charms and how she sees Luckamancy. Very nicely done.

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     Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:53 pm 
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    I love her descriptions of Luckamancy. Really great to see this continued as well, the first story was excellent.

    Crisis21 wrote:
    I'm afraid I'm not getting the references present in Amicus Brief. Any chance someone could enlighten me?

    Legal term for someone who offers information to a court case that bears on the case, but wasn't solicited by either defence or prosecution.

    It also means "friend of the court", so as Signamancy goes, it makes him sound legally accomplished while still having a friendly-sounding name. Pretty clever, really.

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     Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 1:48 pm 
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    He's Atticus Finch, as well, I assume. Entertaining.

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     Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 1:56 pm 
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    Great continuation of Journey Through. Lucy is lovable but still just a bit scary somehow. Excellent description of Luckamancy sense. I am looking forward to more.

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    Last edited by Salvage on Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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     Post Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 2:59 pm 
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    Free Radical wrote:
    I love her descriptions of Luckamancy. Really great to see this continued as well, the first story was excellent.

    Crisis21 wrote:
    I'm afraid I'm not getting the references present in Amicus Brief. Any chance someone could enlighten me?

    Legal term for someone who offers information to a court case that bears on the case, but wasn't solicited by either defence or prosecution.

    It also means "friend of the court", so as Signamancy goes, it makes him sound legally accomplished while still having a friendly-sounding name. Pretty clever, really.


    Silversought wrote:
    He's Atticus Finch, as well, I assume. Entertaining.


    Right on both counts. :D I was hoping the Finch lapel and similarity between Amicus and Atticus would help make it click, because visually Atticus isn't very distinctive looking.

    Also, not all hippiemancers have to look like, well, hippies. :D

    Crisis21 wrote:
    On another note, I'm loving Lucy Charms and how she sees Luckamancy. Very nicely done.


    Thanks guys, though I can only take some of the credit for that. Bibliomancer and me were bouncing around ideas and he came up with the idea for leyline type "lucky paths" that Luckamancers can see. It just seemed SO RIGHT considering Lucy and Luckamancy in general. I just fleshed it out a bit by adding that it's an aura that represents the types of rolls/actions units can make.

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     Post Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:53 pm 
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    Marco gets the spying job because they can be sure the newly-promoted warlords weren't the mole. Clever.

    Lucy's lucky path-finding is an interesting skill as well. I'm really liking these uses of her magic that don't require giving their units corresponding bad luck! Unless that part about it being Mostly Harmless was slightly ominous, of course...

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     Post Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 2:27 am 
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    Free Radical wrote:
    Marco gets the spying job because they can be sure the newly-promoted warlords weren't the mole. Clever.

    Lucy's lucky path-finding is an interesting skill as well. I'm really liking these uses of her magic that don't require giving their units corresponding bad luck! Unless that part about it being Mostly Harmless was slightly ominous, of course...


    I think the 'mostly harmless' comment was to indicate that 'lucky' does not always translate to 'safe'.

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     Post Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 5:52 pm 
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    You've got a lot of suspense going on here. Good work.

    And dance-fighting too!

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     Post Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:58 am 
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    Quote:
    «Look at the recent defections: Bea Tray, Beck Stabber, and Solon Suckers. You’ve seen their profiles; they would have probably turned anyway, and by not inviting them into the Breakfast Club, none of them had worthwhile intel to take with them because they had none to take! The system works, it's--»

    Having a Signamancer to look at the names of their units must be very useful...

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     Post Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 5:03 pm 
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    Mad Humanist wrote:
    You've got a lot of suspense going on here. Good work.

    And dance-fighting too!


    Just wait 'til the music starts. :D

    Free Radical wrote:
    Having a Signamancer to look at the names of their units must be very useful...


    Yeah, Signamancers make for great bouncers when it comes to early detection of treachery or incompetence based on names and physical Signamancy. Doesn't mean a more neutrally named unit can't get ideas, but still.

    If Jetstone had had one, Count Topotato would have probably been traded off immediately.

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     Post Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 12:15 pm 
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    Quote:
    «Franco’s fifth column.»

    Man, that's some bad Signamancy...

    The Dance-Fighting practice was really neat though.

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:46 am 
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    Free Radical wrote:
    Quote:
    «Franco’s fifth column.»

    Man, that's some bad Signamancy...


    Yeah and unlike "Bea Tray, Beck Stabber, and Solon Suckers" there is no way our heroes could pick up on it.

    I actually struggled with this update a bit. Maybe I was reading it too late at night, but here goes:

    1. "Tal Shiar" - no idea?
    2. "Tarzale" - yeah well obviously a beer of some sort but I don't get the reference.
    3. I was confused who acquired the Dance Fighting special.
    4. "Blindly" was misspelt

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 10:54 am 
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    Tal Shiar was the intelligence and internal security of the Romulan Empire from Star Trek.

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 10:56 am 
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    Mad Humanist wrote:
    Free Radical wrote:
    Quote:
    «Franco’s fifth column.»

    Man, that's some bad Signamancy...


    Yeah and unlike "Bea Tray, Beck Stabber, and Solon Suckers" there is no way our heroes could pick up on it.


    I'm not sure anyone but a Master Class Signamancer would have picked up on the inherently bad Signamancy in their names. Erfworlders are notoriously blase about punny names, even when they don't rely on Stupidworld history or pop culture, so I just imagine you can have even entire sides like Frenemy and units like Tray Tor be considered completely trustworthy up until their sudden but innevitable betrayal.

    It's probably not impossible someone talks out loud really quickly and says "Hi Bea Tray!... huh, when you say it out loud it sounds like 'Betray'... I wonder if she's got traitorous signamancy?" but I do think it's rare for that to get noticed by anyone outside of Signamancers.

    Anyway, I suppose this is one of those things Canon may probably come down for that contradicts it. :D

    Sorry to blab on about author's intent, but I did want this to just smack of dramatic irony. WE know they're headed for trouble, but they don't. The Archduchess was right to suspect those three of being traitors, but for the wrong reasons.

    Mad Humanist wrote:
    I actually struggled with this update a bit. Maybe I was reading it too late at night, but here goes:

    1. "Tal Shiar" - no idea?
    2. "Tarzale" - yeah well obviously a beer of some sort but I don't get the reference.
    3. I was confused who acquired the Dance Fighting special.
    4. "Blindly" was misspelt


    It is a bit longer, and considering misspellings weren't weeded out I should probably have proofread it another time. :? In hindsight there's a few places I should have simplified the prose or streamlined it to keep momentum going.

    1. BrimStone got it.
    2. Tarzale is basically just a portmandeu of Tar Zhay and ale. It's not terribly clever, just a riff off Romulan Ale. Yeah, I could probably do better, maybe I'll just retconjure it into Online's Ale. ;)
    3. It was angry old Capo Ira Civil. Is it really that vague? I'm asking honestly, it's a good time to polish before it (hopefully) goes up on the community stream up top.
    4. Duly noted, and thanks!

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:26 pm 
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    Spicymancer wrote:
    2. Tarzale is basically just a portmandeu of Tar Zhay and ale. It's not terribly clever, just a riff off Romulan Ale. Yeah, I could probably do better, maybe I'll just retconjure it into Online's Ale. ;)

    Maybe "Tarzhale" if you want to make it more obvious? I don't think it really needs a major change - not everything needs to be a three-layer pop cultural reference cake.

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:40 pm 
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    Jatopian wrote:
    Spicymancer wrote:
    2. Tarzale is basically just a portmandeu of Tar Zhay and ale. It's not terribly clever, just a riff off Romulan Ale. Yeah, I could probably do better, maybe I'll just retconjure it into Online's Ale. ;)

    Maybe "Tarzhale" if you want to make it more obvious? I don't think it really needs a major change - not everything needs to be a three-layer pop cultural reference cake.



    That would work for me. I would be sparing in the corrections. Perhaps I should read it again as well.

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     Post Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 6:43 pm 
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    Is there an active intent by the author to connect the protagonist side here to cold war Communists?
    It kind of kicks me out of the story when it comes up.

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     Post Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 8:45 pm 
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    Count_to_10 wrote:
    Is there an active intent by the author to connect the protagonist side here to cold war Communists?
    It kind of kicks me out of the story when it comes up.


    Good eye, and yeah, there is. I'm sorry it kicks you out of the immersion, but I'm not sure I could really write the story without making at least some connection, even if only downplayed.

    Maybe it'd help if I explain why? The whole story began as an extrapolation from the wiki entries for the character Jintao and of Tar Zhay.

    In canon, they're secretive and inscrutable as a side, and have an out of commission ruler. Jintao is a different type of race than standard for erfworld, he's a Romulan from Star Trek. Romulans in the Original Series and The Next Generation were stand ins for the Soviets. Tar Zhay the name is a pun on upmarket Target stores.

    Put together, the Cold War undertones are hard to avoid. In story it became natural that they would grow paranoid and obsessed with information security. They're not actively aggressive, but as possibly the closest any side can get (or has ever gotten?) to becoming a democracy in practice, they feel extremely vulnerable for practical and political reasons, and even feel it's their duty to try and find a way to "share the love." Just substitute Communism with Democracy. :shock: ;)

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     Post Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:51 am 
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    Oh... has Venice got a lot of built up good Luckamancy from all the randomly good things that should have happened to a Dirtamancer in contact with the Erf? That's really neat!

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