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Comments for Prehendo Victoria
http://forums.erfworld.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=2386
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Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:04 am ]
Post subject:  Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Please do not post on the story thread. Post all comments here.

Story Link

Side Notes:

Vatima:
Capital: Romotican City (lvl 5, special defenses)
Known Cities:
Catillion (aka Arogus during Espagnian occupation)
Oracus (lvl 1, coastal, bonus to ship building, near active volcano)
Mediol
Milannin (lvl 3)
Arogus (lvl 3)
Tusconus (lvl 3)
Ruler: King Sixtus the Seventh
Former Rulers:
Jolo the Builder (Deceased)
Romo the Spearlord (Deceased)
Heir: Duke Rarington
Chief Warlord: Lady Anex (lvl 8, currently prisoner of IceVale)
Known Warlords:
Cleshara (Deceased)
Regus (Defected, Presumed Dead)
Known Casters:
Hamratio (Dirtamancer)
Artemina (Thinkamancer, unknown whereabouts)
Unnamed Lookamancer (unknown whereabouts)
Natural Allies:
Pwebs (natural dirtamancy)
Twits (natural thinkamancy)
Known Units:
Legionawies
Heavy Leagionawies
Archers
Valkyries
Hoplytes
Vewites
Scorpios
Statuawies


IceVale:
Capital: KingsLanding (lvl 3)
Other Cities:
WinterFalls (lvl 1)
Shorn (lvl 1)
Iras Minith (lvl 1)
Macon Icetoll (lvl 1)
Nevers
Barabon (lvl 3)
Ruler: Overlord Tyrin (lvl 7)
Heir: None
Chief Warlord: Jinra Two-Snows (lvl 4 warlord)
Known Warlords:
Jackson (Tinuit, deceased)
Chief Caster:
The Doctor (Changeamancer)
Known Casters:
Melody (Dirtamancer)
Natural Allies:
Tinuits
Snow Angels
Known Units:
Iceroad Twuckers
Kieshus
Snow Angels
ICEY 130s
FROSTIE 130s
Tuirrels
Rangers
SnowMen
Ice Leopards
Snow Lion

Espagn (aka Espagnia)
Capital City:
Other Cities:
Ruler: Unknown
Heir: Unknown
Chief Caster: Unknown
Other Casters:
Barnone (Deceased) Carnymancer
Unnamed Shockamancer (Deceased)
Unnamed Dittomancer (Deceased)
Known Units:
Archers
Taurons
Thunderlizawds
Tippies
Griffies
Hitchcock
Pikers
Droid Troopers

Angican Republic
Ruler: Unknown
Heir: Unknown
Capital: Unknown
Chief Warlord: Unknown
Warlords:
Master Doay
Anabrothar GroundRunner
Binowa Nokobi
Natural Allies: Jade Eyes
Units:
Chrome Troopers (merc)
Chrome Trooper Medic (merc)
Chrome Trooper Assault Ship (merc)
Jade Eye Starfighter
Droids

Other sides mentioned without demographics:
Gala (Destroyed)
Galla (The Doctor's) (Trapped)
The Leks (Trapped)
The Da's (Trapped)
The Tottoms (East of Vatima)

Author:  WaterMonkey314 [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Quite interesting - I'd love to see you continue this! (I particularly love the "twit"s and whatnot :P )

Though... is King Sixtus the Seventh's twusername supposed to be KingSixtheFive?

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

WaterMonkey314 wrote:
Quite interesting - I'd love to see you continue this! (I particularly love the "twit"s and whatnot :P )

Though... is King Sixtus the Seventh's twusername supposed to be KingSixtheFive?


Eh....because...of reasons you don't know.

Its a typo. The writer in me wants to fix it but the DM in me wants to use the oddity as a future plot point.


I'll just fix it. Good catch. It stemmed from the fact I was going to call him sixtus the fifth, after the pope with the same funny name, but decided to change it to be less obvious.

Author:  cloudbreaker [ Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

I think I'm as eager as Anex to find out what that Foolamancy thing was. :)

Author:  Stryke [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

I like it and am looking forward to see where you go with this.

Author:  Stryke [ Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

I DEMAND AN UPDATE

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Fri May 06, 2011 2:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Stryke wrote:
I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.

Author:  WaterMonkey314 [ Fri May 06, 2011 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

tigerusthegreat wrote:
Stryke wrote:
I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.


This is full of win. :D Huzzah for more Prehendo Victoria!!!

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

WaterMonkey314 wrote:
tigerusthegreat wrote:
Stryke wrote:
I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.


This is full of win. :D Huzzah for more Prehendo Victoria!!!


Significantly better than the boo/hiss I expected for the semi-cliche romantic twist.

Author:  skarl [ Wed May 25, 2011 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

update, update, give me an update, for I am terribly bored by reading it agian... the last ten times where great, but the eleven't time...

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Wed May 25, 2011 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

You can't rush art!

but you can rush Art, though he prefers Arthur...

at any rate, I'll try to get updates going regularly...I'd hate for you to have to read it twelve more times :mrgreen:

Updated...now quit your whining :-p

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Wed May 25, 2011 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Double updates? And half the fat?

Now with "I can't believe its not Shakespeare....spray!"

Author:  WaterMonkey314 [ Wed May 25, 2011 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

:D Another awesome - oh wait - another TWO awesome updates!

I love Hamratio already, even with just a couple of lines to his name!

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Thu May 26, 2011 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

I sincerely apologize for butchering Shakespeare....but it didn't quite fit in a world where there is no tomorrow, only next turn. And I so love that bit of Macbeth.

Author:  WaterMonkey314 [ Thu May 26, 2011 12:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Holy boop, ANOTHER update?! :shock:

Too much awesome! :P And I can't imagine how you've managed to write all those verses so quickly!

Author:  skarl [ Thu May 26, 2011 1:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

[/whining]

absolutely great!

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Thu May 26, 2011 2:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

I was able to do it quickly because it is fauxetry. The lines are mismatched, occasionally rhyme and syllables are not iambic nor pentameter all the time. The ones that are are probably stolen wholesale from mr shakespeare himself.

Its kinda like a spackled wall to cover a hole. Unless you look closely it seems good, but the spackler knows it is there.

Author:  skarl [ Sat May 28, 2011 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

nice update, but I think that you'd like to rewrite the last sentence; it's kinda awkward to me.

Author:  tigerusthegreat [ Sat May 28, 2011 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

skarl wrote:
nice update, but I think that you'd like to rewrite the last sentence; it's kinda awkward to me.


Truncated it to just the first part, I think it gets the point across.

Author:  skarl [ Sat May 28, 2011 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Quote:
She threw her arms around him, and kissed her. Time seemed to stand still...


er... just had it at dutch... don't know what it is called in english, but I'll give it a try:

after the comma, you have a subclause, witch hasn't all the words in it. the (subject/topic/object/theme/subject-matter, don't know wich one is the right translation) in the first part of the sentence is 'She'. in a good subclause, you may or may not repeat it. you decided not to. if you had, this would be the sentence:
Quote:
She threw her arms around him, and she kissed her


the sentence is about Regus and his chief warlord kissing. I always understood Regus as being MALE. I don't know if you meant Regus by SHE or her, but if Regus is male, than he would certainly be a he or a him, and not a she or a her.

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